Things get harder when you realize you're falling for someone. Not because that falling in love isn't pretty, nor because the feeling itself isn't exciting.
It is the "he loves me, he loves me not" that is annoying, not forgetting the constant self-pitying about how he's out of your league and how you're not pretty enough to catch his attention.
The nights you'd think of him so much you wonder whether or not he's thinking about you too. Those moments you'd ask yourself how he sees you as, followed right away by those times you'd answer the question on your own, "no one but a girl whose name he knows".
Not falling for someone is easy. You don't have to spend any goddamn moment thinking whether or not it's the right time for a touch-up, or hesitating to say hi to anyone because you'd greet literally everyone with that exaggerating style of yours without the need to think "was I being too much?"
Thinking about it makes you sick, as every single thing he does toward you becomes an unappropriate sign of "yes" or "no", like "he says hi, he probably likes me", "he looks away, he probably doesn't", and the list goes on and on, and without you realizing it, you've become this one insanely worried woman, with minds filled with countless possibilities with hopes raising up and down on their own.
It makes you pathetic. It makes love seems pathetic too.
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