What We Think We Become (1)

"Watch your thought, for they become your words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become your habits.

Watch your habits, for they become your character.

And watch your character, for they become your destiny.

What we think, we become."

- Margaret T, Iron Lady.

Sense a gloomy mood on my recent posts? I think I should watch my thoughts for more. For it become what I am now.

Dulu almarhum bokap gue selalu ngomong gini ke gue tiap gue ngadu soal masalah di sekolah, "Hati-hati itu bukan sama mulut atau lidah. Bukan sama bacot atau cangkem. Whatever they call it, nis. Hati-hati itu sama otak, sama pikiran. Karena itu nyambungnya sama hati. Jadi kalo kamu sakit hati, itu sebenernya bukan gara-gara omongan orang. Tapi gara-gara kamu berpikir bahwa apa yang orang omongin soal kamu itu bener. Thought is what matters the most." Setelah bertahun-tahun gue nyuekin itu nasehat, sekarang gue baru sadar apa yang bokap gue maksud.

Baca kan post gue yang gue 'curcol' soal betapa gue akhir-akhir ini cengeng? Yes. I've been thinking about too many things lately, including those I shouldn't think about, even those I have invented myself. Masalah yang sebenernya ga ada, tapi di ada-adain. Ngerti ga? Ngerti dong (maksa).

Ini semua masih berhubungan sama PKL. Hahaha. Kalo mau dibilang mental anak bawang, mungkin emang iya, gue ini mentalnya mental anak bawang. I don't like being in the middle of a bunch of people who I don't know enough, I don't like being too far from those I care about the most, I don't like being alone. SEBENERNYA, ga ada masalah sama tempat magang gue sekarang. It's been fun, people there are actually nice, the works are pretty much enjoyable, you can say that I'm on my field. TAPI, cuma field. Bukan home. Home itu rumah gue home, kampus gue home, kamar kos-an gue home. Home is where your heart is, where you would say "I'd like to stay a bit longer". Tapi kantor gue itu cuma 'house'. Dimana gue selalu mikir, "Jam setengah 6 masih lama."

Nah, yg TAPI nya itu masalah yang diada-adain. Sebenernya (lagi), kalo mau dipikir, I've been through things much worse than this, loh. Dari gue SMA gatau apa-apa mendadak harus ke sekolah sendiri, luntang lantung ke UNJ untuk kuliah di jurusan yg gue salah apply, itu kan WORSE. And this time, I am facing a piece of cake, trivia. CUMAN, kenapa yang kali ini rasanya depressing banget? MUNGKIN, gue udah terlalu lama berada di dalem comfort zone gue. Makanya rasanya pas gue mulai, kayak ditampar, "WOY INI REALITY." Hahaha.

Jadi sebenernya emang bukan karena ga ada temen-temen gue, gue jd ga betah di kantor. Tapi gara-gara gue mikir dengan ga ada temen-temen gue kantor itu ga asik, gue jadi ngerasa kalo kantor itu beneran ga asik. Gitu ga sih? Well, just another trashy talk of mine though. :/

What I think I become. And now, I think I'm fine.