What We Think We Become (2)

"What we think, we become."

So it's actually a good point to start creating good thoughts about myself, isn't it? That's why I've listed these wonderful things I thought about myself, so if I'm trapped in my gloomy mood again, this post will remind me of how a splendid and amazing girl I am, or at least, once I thought I was.

1. I'm a joker. I joke a lot, trashy jokes the most, but I don't care about that. I love the feeling when I make those around me laugh with my silly words and acts. I actually enjoy being their lovely clown.

2. I'm a good writer. Not the best and ain't that good either, but good enough. At least it satisfy myself, and some of my friends who I kinda force to read it. Sorry!

3. I'm not just a good listener. I love listening to people's story. It's a hobby. It's fun for me to listen and think, 'damn, I can feel you!' Or 'shit, I once been in your shoes!' I love to have people share a lot of new things just throughout chatting with me.

4. As much as I love to listen to people, I love to talk. Especially to those who I think I'm close with. So besties, beware.

5. I love to sing. When I'm bored, I'm sing, and sing makes me feel good. And when I feel good, I sing. Sing while I'm feeling good makes me feel real fine. When I feel fine, I sing. Singing while I feel so fine makes me... (And it goes on)

6. I have a beautiful alto voice that just need a lot, like a capital LOT, of vocal training. Hell yeah.

7. I love children. I love how they make me feel like one of them in their ages when I play with them. They makes me feel young. And happy.

8. I'm strong. I've been there, done that. Been through a lot of ups and downs and still standing on my feet with chin up until now. Well, gloomy's a part of life, but I always find a way to hold on, or fall just to stand up again. "I'm Xena. The warrior princess." Ha!

9. I love to daydream. I love to spend my leisure time on my bed playing with my hairs just to think how would it be nice to have this and that, being with him and live there, things like that. And an extra-ordinary dreamer like (and YOU) shouldn't just stay laying there and dream. I'll take whatever it takes to make them come true, if Allah let me. Insya Allah. Amin!

10. I love me, because I'm the best person ever live on earth I have ever know and meet, I have 9 (actually more to list) wonderful things about me that makes me a second to none, unique, and priceless.

I love those who love me. Cause those people has helped me to find out these amazing things of mine and keeping their faith on me to keep it up, thankies.

I love my haters. Those ass-holes remind me of how much I'm way better than them not to hate people who hate me. Got me?

I love you. For reading my post and (probably) starts to think about writing a list about yourself, yeah. You. Whoever you are, love yourself.

HONOLULU!

What We Think We Become (1)

"Watch your thought, for they become your words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become your habits.

Watch your habits, for they become your character.

And watch your character, for they become your destiny.

What we think, we become."

- Margaret T, Iron Lady.

Sense a gloomy mood on my recent posts? I think I should watch my thoughts for more. For it become what I am now.

Dulu almarhum bokap gue selalu ngomong gini ke gue tiap gue ngadu soal masalah di sekolah, "Hati-hati itu bukan sama mulut atau lidah. Bukan sama bacot atau cangkem. Whatever they call it, nis. Hati-hati itu sama otak, sama pikiran. Karena itu nyambungnya sama hati. Jadi kalo kamu sakit hati, itu sebenernya bukan gara-gara omongan orang. Tapi gara-gara kamu berpikir bahwa apa yang orang omongin soal kamu itu bener. Thought is what matters the most." Setelah bertahun-tahun gue nyuekin itu nasehat, sekarang gue baru sadar apa yang bokap gue maksud.

Baca kan post gue yang gue 'curcol' soal betapa gue akhir-akhir ini cengeng? Yes. I've been thinking about too many things lately, including those I shouldn't think about, even those I have invented myself. Masalah yang sebenernya ga ada, tapi di ada-adain. Ngerti ga? Ngerti dong (maksa).

Ini semua masih berhubungan sama PKL. Hahaha. Kalo mau dibilang mental anak bawang, mungkin emang iya, gue ini mentalnya mental anak bawang. I don't like being in the middle of a bunch of people who I don't know enough, I don't like being too far from those I care about the most, I don't like being alone. SEBENERNYA, ga ada masalah sama tempat magang gue sekarang. It's been fun, people there are actually nice, the works are pretty much enjoyable, you can say that I'm on my field. TAPI, cuma field. Bukan home. Home itu rumah gue home, kampus gue home, kamar kos-an gue home. Home is where your heart is, where you would say "I'd like to stay a bit longer". Tapi kantor gue itu cuma 'house'. Dimana gue selalu mikir, "Jam setengah 6 masih lama."

Nah, yg TAPI nya itu masalah yang diada-adain. Sebenernya (lagi), kalo mau dipikir, I've been through things much worse than this, loh. Dari gue SMA gatau apa-apa mendadak harus ke sekolah sendiri, luntang lantung ke UNJ untuk kuliah di jurusan yg gue salah apply, itu kan WORSE. And this time, I am facing a piece of cake, trivia. CUMAN, kenapa yang kali ini rasanya depressing banget? MUNGKIN, gue udah terlalu lama berada di dalem comfort zone gue. Makanya rasanya pas gue mulai, kayak ditampar, "WOY INI REALITY." Hahaha.

Jadi sebenernya emang bukan karena ga ada temen-temen gue, gue jd ga betah di kantor. Tapi gara-gara gue mikir dengan ga ada temen-temen gue kantor itu ga asik, gue jadi ngerasa kalo kantor itu beneran ga asik. Gitu ga sih? Well, just another trashy talk of mine though. :/

What I think I become. And now, I think I'm fine.

Peace, Love, and Socialize

 suppose to be posted 2 days ago. Damn cable data left in my working desk. Honolulu .__.

Jadi kemaren pas gue pamit mau pulang ke Mbak Rizka (salah satu atasan gue di Marcom), dia bilang gini, "Sarah, kamu jaga kesehatan ya. Nanti ikut konser."

And then I thought. Okay, what kind of concert will I be participating in? Gue langsung senyum sumringah, kegirangan. Akhirnya, gue lepas dr meja kantor dan kliping, dan media controlling di depan layar komputer.

Today, I figured out THAT... Jeng jeng jeng. I'll be in HUT Jakarta concert in Ancol along with the other committees. (Bukan di atas panggung TENTUNYAH) Gatau ngapain, belom dapet jobdesc jelas soal itu, tp gue semangat. Walaupun itu berarti gue harus kehilangan kesempatan (lagi) buat nonton ayang gue (baca: Jason Mraz). Gue bisa denger suara lembut Jason dr sebrang sana ngomong ke gue perihal ini semua. "I won't give up on us." Sama, mas Jeisen, I won't give up on you either! Mari kita junjung tinggi quote 'JODOH TAK LARI KEMANA'! Ahey.

So, okay. Kenapa gue ngepost ini? Gue mau PAMER. Hehehe engga deng. Gue mau minta doa. Serius loh, ini serius. I need luck and bless. Gue ga pernah handle sesuatu yang spekatukuler macem begini. Biasanya yang paling heboh yang gue tangani adalah pentas seni dan olahraga yang gue handle pas SMA. Itu juga gue ga berhubungan sama wartawan. Wait. No journalis even involved. Buahaha!

...So it'll be my first time. My debut career. Oho. Keren bgt kan istilahnya, gila. Kalo ayang gue yang satu lagi (baca: Hwang Chansung) debut nya jadi ai-dol, yayangnya (baca: AKOEH) debut jadi "yang bantuin wartawan" (jobdesc singkat dari Kak Tika, mentor magang gue di publicity).

Jadi, doakan ya! Semoga pekerjaan "yang bantuin wartawan" gue ini sukses-ses-ses-ses-ses! Amin. HONOLULU!!! (Don't be confused. It's my own term for Hallelujah)

PS: Peace, love, and socialize. Hell yeah.
PPS: Ada yang tau bahasa inggris proper buat 'gaul' ga?

Blues

Gue suka mendadak sedih gitu deh akhir-akhir ini. Suka cengeng. Suka tiba-tiba pengen nangis. Tp gatau kenapa. Makin kesini, kayaknya hidup gue makin unpredictable, jd mungkin itu yang bikin gue takut.

Biasanya, kalo ada event-event besar dikehidupan gue, gue bisa tuh, kebayang, itu event bakal kayak apa. Gue bakal ngapain, kayak apa orang-orang yang bakal gue temuin, apa yang bakal gue hadapin. Tp tiba-tiba kemampuan ajaib nan penting itu ilang aja gitu.

Sekarang, kalo ada apa-apa, gue lebih ke perasaan deg-degan yang tawar. Deg-degan, tp bukan semangat, more to fear, but it's not like you wanna do something to change or prevent it. Gimana ya? Aneh. Jadi kayak, 'Ah gataulah. LIAT AJA NANTI.'

Gue serba gatau dan ga berusaha cari tau. Sebagian besar temen-temen gue punya planning rapih untuk masa depan mereka, but not me. Apakah gue berusaha untuk cari tau apa lagi passion gue selain nulis? Engga. Apa gue terus gali dan tanya sana sini tentang prospek kerja lulusan sastra Inggris? Engga.

Dan kalo mikirin itu semua, gue jd gamang. Dan kalo gue gamang, gue jd sedih. Kayak ga terarah dan ga berusaha untuk liat kompas. Aneh banget. Aneh.

Paling enak itu waktu lo umur lima tahun. When you can laugh without the need of bother thinking bout what would happen next. Hari ini sama besok itu sama. Ketawa, main, ketawa, main.

Gue ga nyangka, I'm this close to my adult life. Mungkin bahkan udah lewat dan gue baru bgt melek sama itu semua.

Again, I hate the empty feeling, and I hate how it makes me sad, moreover, guilty about myself.

Just another gloomy writing of mine. Have a nice day, well-planned day.

Franz (not) Ferdinand

Oke. Jadi gue punya cerita lucu. Jadi gue udah memulai hari-hari internship gue di RCTI dari kemaren. Dan emang selalu aja ada kekoplakan yang gue alamin. Tp...belom pernah sekoplak ini (ya iyalah org baru juga masuk hr kedua!) Jadi dari kemaren itu gue selalu nyampe kantor kepagian. Orang-orang masuk jam stgh9/jam 9 teng dan gue udh ada di lobby utama jam 8. Tanpa Id card. Yeah. Gue belom dapet. Jd ga bs masuk. Sebenernya bisa aja minta satpamnya bukain. Tp gue bingung juga kalo sendirian disana. Hahaha.

Oke lanjut. Jadi, gue udah ada di busway itu jam 7-an. Dan turun di busway kebun jeruk sekitar jam 8 kurang 5/10. Dari hari pertama gue kesini itu, gue udh merhatiin. Pasti deh gue jalan ke gedung RCTI nya barengan sama anak-anak abg yg bawa tas kecil-kecil, atau malah ga bawa sama sekali, yang dateng buat nonton dahsyat. Gue mikir, 'ketemu juga gue ama mahluk asli yg selama ini gue liat bergaya ala nyuci-jemur di TV itu'.

Guess what, today, I walked along with one of 'em, side by side. No. Ini lebih hebat. Gue ngobrol sama salah satu dr mahluk itu. Si adik-adik ini (agak kasar kalo gue bilang mbak-mbak) dengan tas kecil dan dandanan yahudnya nyamperin gue. "Kak, kakak tau ga RCTI dimana?" Gue jawab lah dengan senyum ala kadar masih-ngantuk-banget-nya gue, "Gue juga mau ke RCTI kok."

Akhirnya dia begging (ga begging juga sih, biar oke aja) buat jalan brg sama gue sampe RCTI. Trs tau-tau dia nanya pertanyaan paling koplak yg gue denger hari ini (so far), "Kakak mau nge-Dahsyat juga?" DENG. I BEG YOUR PARDON?!! Nge-dahsyat. Oke. Jadi itu istilah gaul buat 'nonton Dahsyat'. Nge-dahsyat men. Untung dia ga ngmg gitu sambil head bang depan gue. I would be freaked out for sure.

"Engga. Gue magang di RCTI."

"Oh, kakak magang. Aku biasanya di Indosiar."

"Magang?"

"Engga, nonton."

"Oh, jadi udh biasa nonton acara kayak gini?"

"Engga, cuma kalo harus left report aja."

"Live report?"

"Iya, left report."

"LIVE report. Ah...okay."

"Aku ini sebenernya admin nya fanbase ferdinandindo, kak. Harusnya aku sama temen aku, nih. Tp dia kerja"

Oke. By this time, ferdinand yang ada di otak gue adalah Frans Ferdinand (tulisannya bener ga sih?). Yang nyanyi "Take me out" itu loh. Gue pikir, keren juga nih dahsyat bisa ngundang Frans Ferdinand.  Sampai percakapan berlanjut...

"Jadi lo kesini nonton ferdinand?"

"Iya. Hari ini Hits manggung."

BOOM. Hits? Sounds familiar. Untuk ngeyakinin, gue tanya lg ama dia.

"Ferdinand ini, anggota Hits?"

"Iya kak. Twitter aku udh difollow sama dia. Jadi lebih gampang."

Abaikan soal twitter. Gue juga gatau kenapa dia nge-share soal itu ke gue. Tapi Frans Ferdinand yg gue sangka selama ini, ternyata... Adalah member dari group boy band Indonesia, Hits. SYEET MEN.

Oke. Udah mau setengah 9 pagi. Gue mau siap-siap kerja dan simpen batre buat nulis post lagi nanti. A bîen tot, mes amies!

PS: doakan gue bisa ngelewatin hr kedua dengan selamat ya!

PPS: HIDUP HITS! HIDUP FERDINAND, SIAPAPUN ITU. And cut. Bleh! x__x

Author Life, Please

I want my author-life back. I want to go back to the old days when each time I turned my laptop on, the first thing I open is Ms. Word, with these tons of ideas flowing inside my mind, the excitement each time you start a new story, that wonderful feeling when it got appreciated with the increasing subscribers and lovely comments saying "Please update soon!" I want that back. I'm tired to have my net plugged in 24 hours to standby in front of these Facebook accounts of people who aren't represent myself, being someone else and slowly forgetting about my own life (a little bit of exaggerating but think about it). I miss my writing days as much as I want to keep in touch with these strangers who are now my friends. I want to make my very own character in my very own story as much as I still want to interact with these people behind this 'figure'. I know, sooner or later, I would stop doing this thing and go back to my biggest passion in my life; writing. It's just a matter of when. And by then, I hope I won't lose any of those friendships I have built with those beautiful strangers.

Just saying.

Forever your author,
Q.

Staying Alive

"Life has these crazy twists that makes life more...lively."

So I have been watching this drama series of Sherlock Holmes in BBC and I really love how Jim Moriarty really reflects this quote in his life. Well, yeah. He's a fictional character, I know. And he's a villain too! But hey, if you really watch the series like I do, you'll know what I'm talking about. I pretty much agree with him, what would life worth if you're just...staying alive?

I mean, staying in those safe-border-lines is bold-italic-underlined-capital "boring"!

Sometimes you just have to take some risks, most of the times deals with it, fall in love, got your heart broke so you at least know how it feels like to be dumped for another sexy girl, have your happy tears fall when you achieved your goal, things like that. Well, different case for Moriarty of course where "crazy twist" means drives Sherlock crazy. I can't drive Sherlock crazy when I, myself, am crazy over him.

Oh, come on. You got my point, right?

So yeah. Since it's my first post here, so consider this as the uh...introduction to my upcoming posts. You all have these crazy twists in life; tears, angers, hatreds, and happiness, they're all just a part of it. And so it occurs to mine. And this, my friend, is where I talks mostly about my twists.